@KevinFarzad: Real girls have curves. A real girl is just one long, continuous curve. Do not date girl unless she is a parabola.
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@jctwritesstuff: Yeah, I know what my neighbors wear to bed. Not because I look in their windows; I just see them during the day at Walmart.
@BlackCatBettie: What's faster than the speed of light? A female untagging herself from an unflattering photo.
@AimeeHelene1: *seductively slides hand along store shelf to distract you* *grabs last bag of Cheetos* *tucks, rolls, and runs away*
@aLunchBox: Ignorant person: "You're Canadian. You live in igloos, right?" Me: "You're American. You live in McDonalds', Right?