@KevinFarzad: Real girls have curves. A real girl is just one long, continuous curve. Do not date girl unless she is a parabola.
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@SamGrittner: Whenever someone's robbing my house, I pretend I'm robbing it too then I make off with as much of my stuff as possible.
@doktorj: My house is like an Indiana Jones movie. Partly because I walk around with a bullwhip, but mostly because of all the cobwebs.
@EvilPandaX: Things not too say before a 3some: Of Course we're going to wait for your friend, she's the hot one.
@OtherDanOBrien: ME: I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song?