@jake_lach: Real men don't run from problems, they fix them. Unless it's really scary
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@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "How did your first day as a lifeguard go?" Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."
@onedumbshark: When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn't know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin.
@kumailn: So is tomorrow the day Trump & all his supporters say "April Fools!" & we get our country back?