@TitansHomer: "Real men like a woman with curves" - Fat Chicks
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@Book_Krazy: I secretly replaced my husbands coffee with the empty toilet paper roll he left in the bathroom. Let's see if he notices.
@TheMongoose69: Had to get sticky tape and gift tags surgically removed from my body at the hospital... Proving once again that white guys can't wrap.
@MelKassel: LEONARDO DA VINCI: *on street corner* eeey girl! gimme a smile, girl! nah, not that big. make it cryptic, girl, like 'what is she thinking'
@NotThatKristi: My jeans say "no more Christmas goodies" but my leggings are like "we got you, gurrrl"