@OneFunnyMummy: Real women don't wish their enemies would die, just that they'll get fat.
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@SteveSuckington: For some reason, the Disney movie "101 Dalmatians" was much more popular than it's sequel "Picking up Dog Shit for Eternity."
@prufrockluvsong: Him: Flash me a smile. You're prettier when you smile. I seductively part my lips to reveal one perfect orange slice.
@SamGrittner: I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays.