@figgled: Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta
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@imdaintyaf: [At a loud club] Me: *the unceasing drone of locusts, driving to madness all unlucky souls who hear it* Him: WHAT? Me: *THE UNCEASING DRO
@AntozWolf: I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig.... Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.
@TheHyyyype: [paying at chipotle] ME: i got a burrito CLERK: that'll be ten dollars ME: with guac CLERK: that'll be ten thousand dollars