@SocialustGal13: Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
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@SwedishCanary: If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
@DiscoFruit: [first date] her: so are you a dog or cat person? me: *long dramatic pause* well... i'm almost positive that i'm just a normal person..?
@robfee: House Hunters: "We want a slide, cheeseburgers, a clown." Realtor: Are you describing McDonalds? "haha no" *3 kids tumble out of trenchcoat*
@freshestginger: If I got a boyfriend I wouldn't know what to do... What do they eat? How often do they need to be walked? Can they be house trained?