@SocialustGal13: Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
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@Smug_Lemur: Good News: Got rid of the skunk smell on the cat using hydrogen peroxide, dishsoap & baking soda Bad News: the cat now looks like Billy Idol
@ElKnuckelhombre: Doctor: Describe your headache. Me: She's about 5'8", blonde, and the mother of my children.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Apparently "Which one?" wasn't the best answer when my gf's dad asked me "What are your intentions with my daughter?"