@Slygirl08: *Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*
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@tucker_doherty: Daylight Saving Time switches on November 6. That's right, this presidential campaign is an hour longer than you thought.
@Hormonella: God: Let's give them the ability to feel remorse. Satan: I like that. Say, from 2:00 - 4:00 AM?