@causticbob: Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
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@Storminika: You ever see your kid looking so dirty at school and don't wanna pick him up? I just drove pass mine now like, 'Hell no, that is not my kid'
@Darlainky: Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software.
@OkieGirl405: 95% of your time as a parent is spent trying to figure out who broke it, who stole it and who ate it