@causticbob: Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
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@bridger_w: Every time I think I've parallel parked in a space the size of a shoebox, I get out and find it's the length of two football fields
@heymonroe: There aren't enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
@MiniiG: If you complain about not being able to find your boyfriends name on a keychain that store will think you have a boyfriend