@Jesssicle: Really, iTunes? You need to update my calculator app? Have there been changes to basic math that I'm unaware of?
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@ComedicBust: [Walking into the gym Jan 1st] Trainer: Hello! This is a great life change you're making. Me: [confused] This used to be an Olive Garden..
@Sickayduh: Jurassic Park Jurassic Park II Jurassic Park III Jurassic Park IIII Jurassic Park IIIII [this fence is taking forever]
@Reverend_Scott: Carl: "It's chilly out." Me: "Tell me something I don't know." "Two dogs were hanged during the Salem witch trials." "Fair enough, Carl."