@Jesssicle: Really, iTunes? You need to update my calculator app? Have there been changes to basic math that I'm unaware of?
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@AristotlesNZ: We need a weapon that hits something only hard enough to really annoy it, then turns back around & attacks us! -Inventor of the Boomerang.
@NervousJr: Friend: your not going to believe this but my whole family was killed in a freak accident! Me: *you're
@THEINBREDCAT: Watching my dad try to scroll through pictures on my phone is like watching someone trying to pet a bubble.
@ojedge: [on a plane] Stewardess: "Would you like a mint? It'll help your ears during takeoff" Me: "Sure, can I have two?" *puts one in each ear*