@Jesssicle: Really, iTunes? You need to update my calculator app? Have there been changes to basic math that I'm unaware of?
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@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: You say you're an atheist, yet you tell people they can "go to hell!" Make up your mind already.
@CurlsOnGirls: I love people who order coffee like they're giving the pass code to a missile defense system.
@Dis0beyJay: *First Date* Friend: Women like a little rebellion in a guy Me:Ok *Later* Her: So, tell me about your day? Me: I don't have to tell you shit