@KateWhineHall: Really, there's no need to ever take your kids anywhere fun because they can just sit and complain at home for a lot less money.
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@Matt_The_1st: Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
@Prof_Hinkley: [emailing eHarmony match] Her: describe yourself Me: brown hair, kinda stalky Her: lol you mean stocky Me [through her bedroom window]: No
@ValeeGrrl: What I say: Get dressed Brush teeth Get in the car What my kids hear: Have a snack Shriek like monkeys Open 3 umbrellas indoors Go poop