@KateWhineHall: Really, there's no need to ever take your kids anywhere fun because they can just sit and complain at home for a lot less money.
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@eric10F: Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair
@liliths_lair: The real reason women will never be the ones to propose: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.
@jimmy_sharpe: Ever accidentally say 'I love you' to important business customers on the phone? Me too. I MEAN ME NEITHER.
@MsSweetTeaz: Girls dont dress up to impress guys. We dress up to impress other girls. If we wanted to impress guys we would just run around naked all day