@KateWhineHall: Really, there's no need to ever take your kids anywhere fun because they can just sit and complain at home for a lot less money.
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@theshamingofjay: Life Goals Me at 14 - get a girl to like me, figure out how to have sex Me at 34 - get a girl to like me, figure out how to have sex
@caseytduncan: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And I was attacked by a large beast. I'm pretty much a werewolf now.
@ohwrigley: Mommy? Does Barbie come with Ken? No dear, she comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.
@EJGomez: if ur getting chased by a bunch of drunk 90's kids just yell out "in west Philadelphia born & raised" then u got like 2 min to run