@ComedyAndTruth: Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.
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@robdelaney: My neighbor just walked by carrying some pots for planting & I said "Looks like you won the pottery lottery!" Now everyone is mad at me.
@daemonic3: 1. Stand in sauna 2. Add 30,000 strangers 3. Take 2 steps every 30 seconds 4. Repeat for 12 hours Congratulations! How was Disneyworld?
@TimFernholz: The @NewYorker buying Twitter ads to promote its article about how Twitter is dying kind of undercuts the thesis