@MouVanLee: Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend.
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@aplethoras: me: why do i feel terrible brain: coffee is not a food group brain: eat a vegetable brain: sleep me: guess we'll never know brain: oh my god
@MaraWritesStuff: Hey kids, remember the feeling you got when you cleaned your room without being asked and no one noticed? That's what adulthood's like.
@NicCageMatch: The rats outside my apartment building are getting very bold. One of them just asked me for my number.