@neiltyson: Recent evidence indicates that Earth is indeed bi-polar, as we’ve always suspected.
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@ch000ch: *watching a cop walk past during drug deal* ok relax, just be cool.. "bonjour mademoiselle how much of le methamphetamine dost thou fancy"
@SondraDeeMe: *Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
@TheDarkSideCEO: Optimistic Thought of the Day: You are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome.
@iwearaonesie: [hotel] wife: I'm gonna go change. Find us a movie, ok? *winks* me: Ok! *wife comes out in lingerie* wife: What'd you pick? me: Space Jam