@this503girl: Recently found out I'm not the devil. I read the tag on my underpants incorrectly; it said "Satin". Oops.
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@BradBroaddus: My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph.
@DaddyJew: I'm like a mouse. If u give a mouse a cookie hes gonna want some milk. If u gimme a beer im gonna want some nachos. Plus we both like cheese
@retniw_nuf: I wear my wedding ring everyday so I know my right hand from my left hand, incase the man of my dreams asks me for directions.