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@InsouciantMan: Recently had a cat-scan.
They didn't find any cats.
@WaluigiLover: My aunt is trying to convince me that I'm gonna have kids. I named my kittens lunchbox and cocaine Steve. No one is gonna let me have a kid.
@Introvert_Dad: Jesus fed 5000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish.
I can't even satisfy myself with a family sized lasagne
@1Bad_Scientist: Here's a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with.
@SteveAmiri: If I could be any X-Men I think I'd pick Professor X. Don't really care about the mind-reading stuff I just hate walking.
@daemonic3: [1st date]
HER: I'm such a nerd! I love when a guy talks sciency
HIM: Oh haha [to waiter] A salad with umm *sweating* kilo-island dressing