@zachreinert03: Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ElgatoEsmio: I TRADED MY ALARM CLOCK FOR A KOALA SO I CAN SLEEP UNTIL HE STARTS BEGGING FOR LEAVES WHICH’S LIKE 3 DAYS
@TheCatWhisprer: Sometimes a man has needs that can't be fulfilled in the home. [goes to animal shelter and pets all the cats]
@HeyitsLori: A guy laughed at me because I only have a 19" TV. I suggested we not laugh about how many inches things are. That shut him up.