@zachreinert03: Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich
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@robyn_vo: People who say their migraine is going to be the death of them are totally right because I just killed a lady right after she said that.
@lloydrang: By age 30, most men have found that one special hairstyle they want to spend the rest of their life with.
@SenseiSandwich: *draws a sharpie mustache on my grandma* lol you cant hang loser. passin out w/ shoes on? rookie "Sir please step away from the casket"