@zachreinert03: Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich
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@Dawn_M_: During a zombie apocalypse, establish dominance by approaching the baddest zombie with the snappiest teeth and braid his hair.
@Shock_Monster: Sure, Canada, feel safe now while US is just after oil. Wait 'til we run low on beer, ice, hockey players & f'd up ways to pronounce words.
@therealeatwood: SANTA: I don’t need a surveillance guy. I see all! ELF ON SHELF: Seen these? [shows pics of Mommy kissing Santa Claus] S: When can u start