@zachreinert03: Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich
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@david8hughes: [sees kid crying in the mall] "What's wrong?" "I'm lost." "You're in the mall you little idiot."
@TheRolo: *UFO attacks* Govt: It's a weather balloon. *UFO destroys Eiffel Tower* Govt: Weather balloon. *UFO conquers Earth* Govt: Weather balloon.