@TMZ: Reckless driving, pot allegations and cop visits, Justin Bieber is a bad wig away from being the next Amanda Bynes.
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@DosieDoe: US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today.
@TattleTSister: Halloween is the perfect time to trick people into believing you aren't really going to use that ice pick you're carrying around.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Told my husband the best way to get help at Home Depot is to wear yoga pants, but I dunno. It doesn't seem to work as well for him.
@DanMentos: “Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?” why would- “It’s because they're sold by weight-“ Dan, NO “not by volume"