@ErrenMichaels: Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away for a while.
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@Social_Mime: Wife - You ate all of the Reeses eggs? Me - You left them out in the open on the top shelf under the shirts in the back of the closet.
@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twitter yesterday: We are outraged about the lion! Twitter today: We are outraged about the outrage about the lion!