@LikeABaus91: Red bull gives you crippling heart palpitations just doesn't have the same ring to it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KyleMcDowell86: "Is Phil coming tonight?" "Phil Smith or Phil that has the eyesight of a bird?" *suddenly a man runs face first into the sliding glass door*
@FrazzleMyGimp: TACO BELL EMPLOYEE: can I get a name for the order? ME: Shaun. TACO BELL EMPLOYEE: John? ME: Sure. TACO BELL EMPLOYEE: What? ME: Jure.
@AHundredElbows: [at pet store] "This tortoise's shell keeps going soft. Am I doing something wrong?" "No, it happens. It's just a reptile dysfunction."