@LikeABaus91: Red bull gives you crippling heart palpitations just doesn't have the same ring to it.
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@notacroc: Date: Lets break the ice. Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?! D: I mea- PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA
@stockejock: Twitter reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, 'Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?'
@VivaVeronica122: My boyfriend says I'm kind of selfish, but that's not true. I often think of other people. When I'm having sex with him.