@ClassicMegan: If you don't open your mouth when you yawn, you're a monster. I'm serious. Let that demon go. You're freaking everybody out.

@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job.

@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,

@GregDunbar1: Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.

@tigersgoroooar: Imagine a hunter in a deer stand but instead of a gun he has a long stick he pokes the deer with and they look around like "ok who did that"