@brettryland: Redheaded guys know they can just dye their hair, right? They don't have to live like that.
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@ramenfuneral: if i were a white vegan satanist i would constantly say stuff like "kale satan" and "i love the dark gourd" and nobody would stop me
@jordan_stratton: GOD: Eyelashes ANGEL: What do they do? GOD: Protect eyes ANGEL: And? GOD: Get into people's eyes. It's extremely painful. ANGEL: Are you ok?
@NJPsychDoc: My stages of drunk: 1. You're UGLY 2. You're HOT 3. You're BEAUTIFUL 4. Your HONOR in my defense......