@OneFunnyMummy: Register for a new blender on your baby registry. It drowns out the crying and makes margaritas. You're welcome.
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@Reverend_Scott: The year is 2157, our world is much like the one in that futuristic movie starring Tom Cruise. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the
@KimmyMonte: Please. Old people. When you comment on a Facebook pic you don't need to end with Love, James. WE CAN SEE YOUR NAME YOU'RE NOT AN OSTRICH
@findmydolls: In September a 127 yr old woman passed away, which we already KNOW is a lie bc the earth isn't even 127 yrs old. Don't be ignorant.
@LaziestCanine: [teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] "Gemini's go to sleep when they are tired" HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ME