@OneFunnyMummy: Register for a new blender on your baby registry. It drowns out the crying and makes margaritas. You're welcome.
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@CoolCamel69: Son, I found some drugs in your backpack "Dad I swear they're not mine" DAMMIT SUSAN, THEY ARENT HIS. 1st time we were proud and you blew it
@jdforshort: Everyone wants a bigger house until you have to dust Now I'm dreaming of a one room shanty inside a bubble
@mrtruthandsoul: My daughter wants a pony and my wife wants a new dishwasher, so I'm compromising and buying them a goat.