@Sarcasticsapien: Rejecting someone by saying "you deserve someone better" is a fun way to let a person know you'd rather insult yourself than to date them.
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@kica333: *In the back of an ambulance Me: Change the radio station Paramedic: Please don’t speak. You need to save your energy Me: Im not dying to a Nickelback song
@mydanimarie: FRIENDSHIP TIP: stick your head under the bathroom stalls and introduce yourself! You never know where you'll find your soulmate
@Ms612: 911: What's your emergency? Me: Are you guys hiring? 911: This is an emergency line. Me: No shit. Why do you think I'm calling?