@Sarcasticsapien: Rejecting someone by saying "you deserve someone better" is a fun way to let a person know you'd rather insult yourself than to date them.
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@thepunningman: [landlord showing new tenant around] "No smoking allowed" "How about pets?" "That's fine" [dog walks in and lights up] "We'll take it"
@petemandik: If someone tells you they don't like some particular word, do not torment them with it. To do so is totally moist.
@BradBroaddus: I think my life would have turned out differently had I forwarded those chain letters in the 80's.