@Gibberish_one: Relationship Goals
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@brianbowman73: Her: My baby is 28 months old. Me: Oh really? I'm 74 inches tall. Not so fun when YOU have to do the math, is it?
@jenstatsky: A guy who wears a ring is always a dealbreaker. If it's on his ring finger, he's married. If it's not, he's a guy who wears rings.
@DudeImShawn: Live today like it's your last. Pay your bills and wear a condom just in case it isn't.