@melip0ne: relationship goals
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@BeagirlNJ: I'm "I lost my car in a parking lot" years old *clicks alarm, clicks alarm* *silence* Am I even in the right parking lot?
@_TeaChap: Scientology, because even Jehovah Witnesses need something to laugh at after a hard day of knocking on doors.
@TheAlexP: Girl seeing my torn jeans Where'd you get those?! *remembers trying to pee on a hill & stumbling backwards through thorn bushes* The Gap.
@heyevergreen: My boss threw a Snickers at me and I caught it one handed so I think I'd be a good athlete if sports were played with candy bars