@thatlionkid: Relationship status: binoculars
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@Fred_Delicious: 9 out of 10 dentists agree that Gary is the most handsome dentist. Gary voted for Brett because he couldn't vote for himself
@ag_loco: Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong
@isabelzawtun: "weighing in at 129 lbs, here to throw down in a gown, to slay with a bouquet-" (Bride walks down the aisle, upset I mentioned her weight)
@davidkenny100: Have you never heard of the boy that cried wolf??? The girl that coughed bees? The boy that sneezed sharks? The girl that shit spiders?