@DumbConfessions: Relationship status: can't go to the same bar as last night, because I'm wearing the same shirt as last night.
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@ImLeslieChow: When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just find it strange how many people have knives on a date.
@sucittaM: Eventually we'll all just have one app on our phones that electrocutes you when you stop looking at it.
@JohnLyonTweets: I don’t care how much candy he offers you, kids, do NOT get out of Billy Ocean’s dreams and into his car.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [1st night w/Russian bride] "take yr panties off" [smaller panties underneath] "them too" [even smaller panties underneath] "damnit..."