@DumbConfessions: Relationship status: can't go to the same bar as last night, because I'm wearing the same shirt as last night.
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@ChefChas82: I should run for public office just to see the scandalous dirt they dig up on me. I would really like to piece together my twenties.
@TheRolo: I just spilled my last beer while reaching over to hit "ignore caller" on my phone. Why do bad things happen to good people?
@HlaoRoo: Remember when you used Twitter to update friends & family on where you were, & what you were doing? Yeah, me neither.