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@ChiefTwittler: Relationship Status: changing locks
@frenchielaboozi: i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die
@MariyaAlexander: Maybe your jeans are distressed because you're wearing them?
@BDGarp: If I saw an elephant in the room, that's ALL I'd be talking about.
@jackmackenroth: I stand right next to the "God Hates Fags" guy with a sign that says "Please Ignore My Ex-Boyfriend"
@rynbtmn: None of the scenarios in which I would require a watch that works 200m underwater are situations in which my watch would be my main concern.