@HysteriaBarbie: Relationship status: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU CALLED A STORMTROOPER A ROBOT
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@GrantTanaka: During the bank robbery, I was the one who heroically soiled himself & cried in order to incapacitate the robbers with laughter
@beefman138: "Wow, that's great!" ~ Me, not paying attention, and hoping you didn't just tell me your Grandma died.
@ChaseMit: "We're not so different, you and I," Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper.