@HysteriaBarbie: Relationship status: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU CALLED A STORMTROOPER A ROBOT
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@aardvarsk: my dad once said "do what you hate first thing in the morning to get it out of the way" then 2 mos later called me on my birthday at 6am
@WhaJoTalkinBout: [text] Hub: I have to go to the doctor. Me: Is it your eyes? Hub: Yes! Me: Is your vision blurry? Hub: Yes!! Me: You're wearing my contacts.
@iwearaonesie: "Don't put it on my plate if you don't want me to eat it!" - me to my kid, who's crying because I ate the playdoh burger he put on my plate