@RodneyH42: Relationship Status: Even my alarm clock stops responding to me after I bang it
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Steelers1972: My superpower is destroying the neighbors living room from 100 yards with nothing but her cat and my laser pointer.
@imence2: Whenever I write out my alimony payment, I put cute things on the memo. Like "for your next divorce" or "clothes that make you feel skinny".