@RodneyH42: Relationship Status: Even my alarm clock stops responding to me after I bang it
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bryanmcc74: How amazing is it that nobody in the same Kingdom as Cinderella , had the same sized feet as her ? She should play the lottery too !
@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.
@fro_vo: [on a speed date] (okay don’t let her know you’re a zombie) “so, what do you like best in a woman?” BRAAAIIINNNSS
@QueefTornado: Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.