@Kyle_Raney: Relationship status: held a door open for a girl, so she used the other one
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@Royceda59: I bought condoms. Cashier asked if I needed a bag, I said no she's not that ugly RT @HeroinHadley:Tweet something inspirational. I need it.
@KyleMcDowell86: SORRY I REPLACED EVERYTHING IN YOUR FIRST AID KIT WITH BAGS OF BEEF JERKY YOU MIGHT BE MAD NOW BUT YOU'LL THANK ME LATER
@TheQuietPsycho: I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore