@Kyle_Raney: Relationship status: held a door open for a girl, so she used the other one
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@jdbalani: The self checkout lane was probably invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons.
@WhatevaConc: No Brett, I didn't even read that email. I'm not speaking to you because I overheard your Starbucks order this morning.
@FlyJ_: I almost crashed into the semi in front of me while I was looking at a hot construction worker. That would've been an embarrassing obituary.