@Sassafrantz: Relationship Status: I ate 7 bananas trying to get the new guy at work to notice me.
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@SomthinBoutSara: How do you end an argument with a woman? Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.
@Chumpstring: Never bring a knife to a gunfight. Bring one of those long grabber sticks so you can take the other guy's gun away.
@NotthatAdamWest: "Dear God, make me a bird, so I can..." *turns into penguin* "DAMMIT I WASN'T FINISHED!"
@mellimelle: Packing for a trip, Husband says I don't need to overpack. It is so cute how he thinks I'm coming back.