@Sassafrantz: Relationship Status: I ate 7 bananas trying to get the new guy at work to notice me.
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@UnFitz: “Let’s agree to disagree.” TRANSLATION: You’re so painfully wrong on every conceivable level that I just need you to shut up now.
@Grafiksein: Me: guess who i saw today? Batman: who? M: not your parents B: Y do you always do this? M: cause they told me to B: who? M: not your parents
@Ygrene: [at the park] SON: dad dad what's that in the sky?! (points at helicopter) ME: (forgetting the word helicopter) that son is……a blenderplane
@LurkAtHomeMom: Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football.