@dreamthievin: Relationship status: I tried to blow a kiss but it wants to just be friends
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@Sassafrantz: I was so surprised when he said those three little words to me: "You're embarrassingly bad at math. This is over."
@FatherWithTwins: Someone cut in front of me in the salad bar line today. I didn't do anything because anyone who wants a salad that badly terrifies me.
@TheDreamGhoul: [job interview] "any questions?" yeah is it Pets Mart or Pet Smart? "ma'am this is a bank" I know but you seem like a man with some answers