@ChiefTwittler: Relationship Status: Lurking
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@ericsshadow: [first date] I'm really nervous about this. It's been a long time since I've [holds fork up and squints] used silverware.
@Dwarven_Cleric: After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.
@rolldiggity: I never feel guilty about eating baby carrots because it's not like adult carrots are doing anything great with their lives.
@CarolinaSong: That awkward moment when you text a pretty girl, "my shirt smells like you" & you misspell shirt