@ChiefTwittler: Relationship Status: Lurking
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@iCumBl00d: Why do they hand out Kleenex at funerals if you're not supposed to jerk off in the back row
@david8hughes: [fakes allergic reaction at dinner] Me: I-I'm- [clutches chest & falls to floor] I'm gonna need you to pay for me
@mishakey: How come when my kid wants to show me something, she has to place it directly inside my cornea?