@LackOfShame: Relationship Status: Married long enough to know when I hear her say "I love you," she's talking to our dog.
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@rolldiggity: Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn't make a funny, cat-shaped hole. Not even close.
@briangaar: *turns down the lights* Girl this is going to be a magical night *dumps legos on bed* ok first we need to separate these by color
@rohoxbaby: Every Facebook post: *Girl posts lyrics* Elderly woman comments "Hi lucy. you're so grown up. We miss you. Tell your mom ill call Wednesday"