@yonewt: Relationship status: outside my wife's window, holding John Cusack over my head.
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@AndDesist: I regularly have gold plaques and 1st place ribbons made up for my liver so it knows just how much I appreciate all it's hard work.
@zoevsuniverse: 4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: "I never want to do that again."