@HelmdawgE: Relationship status: Putting aloe on the wall and rubbing against it to apply in places that I can't reach.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShutUpThatsWho: COWORKER: how old is our boss? ME: cut him in half & count the rings CW: doesn't that only work on trees? ME: *over chainsaw noises* HE'S 38
@fro_vo: Me: who called it a prison cell air duct instead of a convent Nun: that's not funny Escaped Prisoner (hiding in the air duct): it kinda is
@ericsshadow: [on a business trip to South Carolina] Nice to meet you. I'm from Philadelphia. "Welcome to the United States."