@HelmdawgE: Relationship status: Putting aloe on the wall and rubbing against it to apply in places that I can't reach.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ceejoyner: Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph.
@gerryhallcomedy: My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine.
@FilthyRichmond: I'm calling about the poster for your missing cat. Why not ask the guy who took that picture? Just kidding, I ran over it.