@LisaACOTA: Relationship Status: we made our marriage counselor cry.
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@AbbyHasIssues: 1. Rage against the machine. 2. Check to make sure machine is plugged in. 3. Apologize to the toaster for the misunderstanding.
@Brampersandon_: [quickly jumps into the back of a cab] ME: How far will this get me? *i hand the driver 14 peanut m&ms with the chocolate sucked off*
@Vodkantots: The greatest thing about Christmas is how it teaches kids to be selfish little shits on someone else's birthday.