@matt_simpson84: Relationship status: went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
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@matt_travelling: Why do people say tunafish, rather than just tuna? Is that to differentiate from the tunacow and tunagiraffe?
@Furry_Beaver: Cashier: Will that be all? Me: No. I'm getting everything like an easter egg hunt, I just wanted to show you what I've got so far.
@One2thTEXAN: My signature move, is pulling on a push only door, when attempting to get it for a woman.
@rolldiggity: Either the kids on my street were playing with sidewalk chalk, or this is a crime scene and a bunch of stars and cats just got murdered.