@kathybotteas: Relationship status:
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@LMuenster: [orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit
@causticbob: Windows: "You may be the victim of software counterfeiting" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife told me not to say anything about her friend's lazy eye so I made sure to give numerous compliments on her super-athletic one.