@JohnDuffy21: Relationships are a lot like algebra.. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
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@kwirkyKerri: I don't wish anybody dead, but a well placed nasty rash on you would kind of make my day.
@WilliamRodgers: I'm 32 years old and I've watched Frozen 26 times this week... For those of you out there thinking about having unprotected sex tonight...
@cray_at_home_ma: There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops.
@LolaFaglana: I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say "Mommy steals credit cards" when they're in a checkout line.