@Breadery: Relationships are about compromise. I pretend she's not watching a Gossip Girl boxset. She pretends I'm not digging her grave in the garden.
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@longwall26: Die Hard (1988) A shoeless New Yorker murders a bunch of people at his wife's office Christmas party.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: Disney couldn't handle my awesome script. Kylo Ren was Rey's father. Finn was her brother. Chewbacca was her cousin twice removed.
@thatdutchperson: [remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president.