@Breadery: Relationships are about compromise. I pretend she's not watching a Gossip Girl boxset. She pretends I'm not digging her grave in the garden.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MrFornicator: I've opened a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
@simoncholland: Can't believe my daughter said I was embarrassing her by trying to be cool. She needs to check the tude & stop being so wiggity wiggity wack
@partlyfunny: Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer. Unless the question is why did you shit on the sidewalk last night?