@dumbbeezie: Relationships are like houseplants, if they're mine they die
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@Celestinelea90: I asked my kids today if they felt we spent enough time together and they both texted back that we did so I guess we are all good.
@Parker_Simpson: I must be getting old...my urine flow sounds like a drippy leak in an old abandoned factory
@daimonic0: If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too.
@nerdreign: I worry that people who say "I'll sleep when I'm dead" may have missed a Science class or two.