@dumbbeezie: Relationships are like houseplants, if they're mine they die
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AntoKenya: My girlfriend once told me she was pregnant. I was so excited that I ran to another country and have never seen her from then.
@Scarlet_Rose67: My daughter asked me what marriage is like, so I threw out all her Ken dolls, except for the bald drunk one.
@MariyaAlexander: Whenever people say they're willing to do "whatever it takes" to "make it in Hollywood" they never mean "patiently work on their craft".