@briangaar: Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
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@Book_Krazy: My husband just told me to relax, like he doesn't remember we're camping in the desert and I brought a shovel.
@IngestMyBabies: If a cop tazed me and then yelled "Raiden Wins!"... I would instantly lose all animosity towards him.
@unravelingfire: Me: Do you like my new negligé? Him: Are you wearing bubble wrap? Me: You said put something on that would keep you occupied for hours.
@BrettDruck: What's it like to work in customer service/retail? Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist.