@BlakWidowBarbee: Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty evil looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours.
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@Elizasoul80: Johnny Depp is the best actor ever. You can't even tell he has scissor hands in Pirates of the Caribbean.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [my funeral] sister: did you know about this? mom: [watching my pallbearers dressed like the ninja turtles carry my casket] it's what he wanted