@TheCatWhisprer: Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
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@MumsieEsq: When your 3yo spits a chewed up wad of cheese into your hand and you're like "where did you find this, I didn't give you any cheese today?"
@ClichedOut: Her: You look great without glasses Me: I don't wear glasses Her: *putting them back on* I do
@BuckyIsotope: *jumps out of plane* *begins reading parachute instruction manual* STEP 1: PUT ON PARACHUTE *looks up* Well hell
@K_blue: Playing hide and seek in my office building because they can't fire you if they can't find you.