@tarashoe: religion? um, ha, no. i'm not really into the idea of letting a set of ancient rules dictate my life. plus, pisces aren't usually religious
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@Matt_The_Fist: I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes
@msdanifernandez: Sometimes I feel doomed in dating, but then a random internet man with a profile pic of Deadpool writes “that’s cause u havent been with me yet ;)” and I am filled with joy and hope
@ArfMeasures: ME *puts honey on toast* SON: Daddy, did you know bees make that? ME: Yeah of course [Later] ME [to date] Did you know bees make toast?
@notacroc: GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no