@Soberphobiccc: Religious places never have free WiFi because no religion wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
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@dizzydes86: Everybody always says they want a fairytale wedding, but when I show up and curse their newborn, suddenly I'm a jerk.
@Brianhopecomedy: I'm teaching my 2 year old about currency so I can figure out what coin she just swallowed.
@WheelTod: Well, well, well. Looks like I may have a lawsuit on my hands: a gynecologist refused to treat me, and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm gay.