@Soberphobiccc: Religious places never have free WiFi because no religion wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
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@BGH70: On average, it takes a person 7 minutes to fall asleep… 2.5, if Tammy from purchasing is telling you about her weekend.
@breatheandlove: Both her name and her living situation suggests that the dwarves MAY have been referring to Snow White when they sang, 'high ho.'
@Brianhopecomedy: If I close my eyes while my 3 year old pours her cereal I can hear the relaxing sound of thousands of Cheerios raining on the floor.
@brakco: I thought I just had a bad headache but according to WebMD I'm a conjoined twin slowly dying from jaundice.