@Bob_Lesh: Religious rituals and prayers sound really creepy when you replace "Jesus" with "Jeff"
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@mrjohndarby: me: i hate walking into a room and forgetting why i'm here.. lmao executioner: just sit in the chair
@nuttywhippet: There's a job in the paper for a park litter attendant. Experience is not necessary, you just pick it up as you go along.
@FBSisnothere: Why does everyone mention that in space no-one can hear you scream instead of mentioning something positive like how no-one can hear u yodel