@captaincoximus: Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep
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@laffytakky: In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby.
@SweetTweetsBRO: The worst feeling ever is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are alcohol.
@SondraDeeMe: ME: What's this about? SECRET SERVICE: We can't tell you ME: I can take it SS: *whispers* Your parents didn't take your dog to a farm